


Birthday Whatever the Hell

by twentyfourshreds



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Ace Karkat Vantas, Coming Out, Crying, Established Relationship, Grey-A, Human Eridan Ampora, Human Karkat Vantas, Implied/Referenced Masturbation, Implied/Referenced Sex, Lots of kissing, M/M, Trans Eridan Ampora, Trans Karkat Vantas, but like super vague as in even karkat vaguely alludes to it, erotic descriptions of cake, referenced hair products i looked up specifically for the smell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-22 16:31:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11971272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twentyfourshreds/pseuds/twentyfourshreds
Summary: It's Eridan's birthday, and he wants to treat himself to something special. Unfortunately, things don't go as planned when it turns out that Karkat has been keeping some important information to himself.





	Birthday Whatever the Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This is choc full of head canons about the boys. 
> 
> This one is more mature than anything else I've posted because why not?

          The gentle flicker of the candle flame burned itself into his eyes. The frosting gently glinting under the heat, the wax pooling around the candlestick. He quietly puffed out air and watched as the flame flickered, sputtered, and went out. The smoke climbing unknown stairs into the air. He waved his hand through the smoke, wafting the sharp smell around the room. He slid the candle out of the frosting, gently sticking it into his mouth. He sucked the frosting off and set it beside the cake; handing one to him. Watching intently as he shyly repeated the action.

 

“Happy birthday Eridan,” He sung quietly, giving a small lopsided smile. The glow from the sun lamp giving an ethereal look to his nearly angelic soft smile. He smiled back, “Thanks Kar.”

They ate the cake in quiet. It was sweet, soft and sublime. Eridan’s favourite flavour, melting in his mouth, made by Karkat,  _ from scratch _ . He savoured the taste of the cake on his tongue, how it was just the right consistency, the right amount of sugar.

 

“Beautiful.” He stated, staring over the frames of his glasses at him. He watched as Karkat’s face was washed in red. He smirked, setting his fork on the table and standing. Karkat watched him move, setting down his fork in response, waiting.

 

Eridan held out his hand and he nervously took it, a chill crawling its way down his back. Karkat stood up and followed mutely as he led him to his room, he shivered. The view from Eridan's room was stunning, the gentle twilight lit the clouds with shades of pinks and oranges, the sky falling into gentle gradient of grey-blues to lilacs. Eridan sat on his bed, and he followed, wandering eyes tracing the clouds and the harbor, sailboats coming home after a long voyage on the waves below.

 

He looked over at him, and Karkat could feel his eyes on him. He glanced over at him for only moments and regretted it, another shudder passed through him.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

He looked at him, not in the eyes, not yet. He watched his mouth as Eridan gave him a knowing smile, the glint of the sugar on his lips, the soft curve they made against his teeth, the way they pulled back so easily. Karkat’s chest tightened and when his hands brushed against his cheek, he stopped breathing. When he pressed his lips against Karkat’s he felt panic rise in his chest. He pulled back, a frown forming on Eridan’s face, while he gasped, remembering to breathe.

 

“That’s cute as fuck,” He whispered and kissed him again. Karkat timidly complied, hand as shaky as the flame on the candle before it sputtered out.

He was teetering on the edge of something.

While his lips were pressed together with Eridan’s, he felt his body shift, and he was suddenly on his side. This was slightly better. Karkat could comfortably, gingerly, cup his face in his cold trembling hand, the other trapped between their chests. Karkat could feel his heart beat, faster than he thought was healthy in his chest. The soft feel of Eridan's cashmere sweater against the back of his hand, his own rougher wool sweater pressing into his fingertips. His other hand feeling the soft ripples of muscles, and textures of his face, the press of his head in his palm as Eridan shifted slowly.

 

He almost forgot that his lips were locked with his. That was, until he tasted sugar, and felt the tip of Eridan’s tongue gently press against his lips. He shuddered, from fear, and cold He scrunched his face up and gave him a grimace as he pulled away.

 

“Not that then,” Eridan commented subtly. His free hand pulling them closer together. He kissed him again, slowly, the taste of sugar still in his mouth. Eridan smelled Karkat’s chai cologne, gentle lotion, and fresh laundry. The press of his lips was so soft, the sweet soft moment lasing infinitely in his head. Eridan wanted more, and migrated downward, pressing dry soft kisses to his jaw. It wasn’t enough.

 

“Stay there, on your back,” He whispered, pulling himself away from Karkat, taking his glasses off, and raising himself up to straddle his hips. He gently caged him in, forearms at the side of Karkat’s head, mouth brushing against his lips. He kissed him again, gently coercing his head to the side with soft kisses to his jaw. A hand resting at his shoulder, the feeling of the wool under his fingertips distracting. He walked his fingers to his collar, pulling the fabric back as he deliberately pressed more dry, soft kisses to his neck.

 

Karkat felt his soft lips pressing into his skin, the tickle of his hair against his cheek, the strong smell of his floral pomade. He shivered again, still cold, still afraid. He could feel Eridan’s thighs resting heavily against his. The muscles shifting under the jeans, squeezing.

 

He left a lingering kiss on the side of his neck, and pushed himself up. He sat back on Karkat’s legs, careful not to hold them down with his weight. One hand kept him propped up, the other habitually ran its way through his hair. He was outlined in a pale orange glow. His body and face cast in odd shadows, not dark enough to hide, not light enough to highlight. Half lidded eyes looked down at him gently, almost despondent in the shade. The soft smile that touched his lips was lost.

 

“Are you okay there?” He implored quietly, eyes now filled with worry. And Karkat froze, caught in the gentle stare of his bottomless dark eyes. He shuddered, heart beating too fast, and quietly rasped, “No.”

 

Suddenly his legs were free, and he was much colder than before. He watched as Eridan tipped himself over and landed beside him, careful not to touch him. There was hurt in his eyes, it was his fault. He felt a different cold filling his chest.

 

His hand reached out to him, and he slowly reached out to clasp it.

 

“Why didn’t you say?”

 

“…I didn’t want to disappoint. It’s your birthday.”

 

“You never would have. And don’t still.”

 

Silence lapsed over the two and his eyes glanced towards the blue numbers on the clock, it was seven.

 

“I should go take off...”

 

“Go on, I’ll be here, I should get to doing that as well.”

 

Karkat quietly got up and shuffled around the bed to the en suite. He let the door click shut and stumbled over to the toilet, sitting heavily on the closed lid. Tears welled up in his eyes and he felt the cold feeling turn into an unbearable heat. He tore off his sweater and undershirt, and struggled viciously with his binder and sat there staring at it on the ground between his feet. He felt the hot feeling spread; it was shame. Fat hot tears dripped from his nose, tickling uncomfortably as his eyes felt hot and his breath was short. He sniffed, the shame still burning in his head, the tears forcing their way from him as he put back on his undershirt and sweater. He took in a shaky and deep breath, imagining the shame leaving his body in a gaseous sickly cloud with each sigh.

 

He got up, flushed the toilet and washed his hands. He sighed again pressing his clean, wet hands to his face, trying to lessen the blotchiness. He picked up his binder, folded it and crept out of the bathroom.

 

Eridan was sitting with his back against the headboard of his bed, waiting patiently for him to come back and he looked up, watching him with worry.

 

Karkat clambered up next to him on the bed, heart racing in his chest, hands once again shaky.

 

Eridan picked at a spot of dirt under his nails as he faced the window. The sunlight now nearly gone from the sky, a few planets and brightest stars made their light known.

 

“Was it because of…” He trailed off, they both knew. It cropped up occasionally, even with simple things, and a small wave washed over him at the thought.

 

“No, it's not that.” Karkat sighed, the tight feeling in his chest was painful.

 

“Would you have let me keep going?” He asked voice hollow.

 

“Yes…” he answered timidly, and quickly followed it with, “But it's not like I didn't want to.”

 

“Doesn't matter, we still need to talk it out.” Eridan shot back, much harsher than he intended. He could feel the bed shift as Karkat recoiled and he winced slightly.

He was quiet, “Before, when we… I- uh, I was sure that I did want to, and at the time and still now, I think that was right, but uh- since then I’ve been doing some thinking and for a specific reason this time it’s different…”

 

Eridan turned to face him, an open and concerned look etched into his face. Karkat looked soft, eyes flickering from his hands to the corner of the windowed wall, and his face. He sniffed, continuing.

“I’m ace, Eridan. And with most things like this I’m probably gonna be sitting here explaining every detail of my experience for three weeks so I’m going to generalize it. I’m a grey ace, so I only rarely, and if things go the right way will want to. God-- fuck I want to apologize to you, but I know I shouldn’t.” He took a deep breath.

 

“And anyway, it doesn’t mean I won’t help you out or do it, just,” He stalled, mouth flapping for a moment as he searched for the words he needed, “It’s just that I love you and very, very rarely want to fuck you.”

He laughed nervously.

Eridan nodded very slowly, “Oh, okay.”

 

“Again, I don’t mind helping you out, like if you still want to do something tonight, I won’t…” He trailed off as Eridan took his face in his hands.

“Thank you for bein’ honest,” he said quietly, his eyes bored into his. Karkat was crying, he didn’t know why, shame, sorrow, something else he couldn’t place his fingers on?

“You’re welcome,” he warbled quietly, hands shakily pressing against his shoulders. Eridan pulled him into a tight hug, feeling gentle shakes of his shoulders, the cold in his chest now melting, fear and relief beginning to slowly take him over. He gripped him tighter.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize how uncomfortable you were. I-I don’t know how I didn’t see that you didn’t want to-” He found his babbling was cut short by a hand awkwardly patting, or rather weakly slapping, the side of his face.

His muffled voice interjected, “I didn’t not want to, it just started to make me panic, and as it does, it made me uncomfortable, and then I started thinking about whether or not I really wanted to and got even more afraid because I kinda did but I was panicking so much it sorta drowned it out, and I ruined your birthday oh god.” He came to a stop, and Eridan could tell that everything was out of his system.

Eridan pushed him away to stare at him again, there were tears on his face and dabbed at his nose with his sleeve.

“You didn’t ruin anything Karkat. No- I promise you that, wholly.” He insisted, cutting him off as he attempted to take the blame.

“You promise on your signed copies of all seven Harry Potter books?” He asked weakly.

“I-I promise on all seven copies of my signed Harry Potter books,” He assured, laughing at how serious he was.

“Now I’m going to take care of what I started, just chill here and I’ll be back in- eh- twenty minutes or so.” He said gently knocking a knuckle under his chin.

“Are you sure you-?”

“I’m positive, I just want you to relax, let the birthday boy do his thing.” He whispered, leaning in for a peck on his cheek. Karkat turned his head and met him with his lips. Surprised he pulled back quickly, searching his eyes for a sign of discomfort and saw the sly glint in the dim light. He smiled and scooched off the bed, stretching and glided over to the en suite, throwing out, “If you want you can play music or turn on the TV so you won’t hear me.”

He closed the door, locking it and set about getting to work.

Karkat picked up his phone from his side of the bed and lowly turned on his music, scrolling through his various social media accounts, trying to ignore the sounds drifting through the thin walls. It was a long time before Eridan exited the bathroom, eyes half lidded and legs shaking.

“Better?” He asked laughing at how he stumbled to the bed and crawled over the foot to flop onto the mattress.

“Yeah, thanks for waiting.” He mumbled out roughly burrowing under the covers.

“No worries…” Karkat answered, watching him as he turned to his side and closed his eyes.

“Good night,” He sung lightly.

“G’night,” He muttered.

“I love you.” He whispered.

“I love you, too.” He murmured.

Soon Eridan’s breathing was even and shallow, and Karkat decided that eight thirty wasn’t too early to go to bed.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If I've gotten any info wrong about being on the ace spectrum (specifically the grey- ace side) please tell me, I don't want to misrepresent.


End file.
